A Domino Effect

So this week’s Friday 5 is a fun one: the five best presents you have ever received.  Here are mine, and don’t forget to check out the other girls here, here, here, here, here and here as well, I think!

My first tape machine

I don’t remember how old I was when I was given my first radio/tape player, or even whether I received it for a birthday or a Christmas.  I do, however, remember it being the BIGGEST DEAL EVER.  I was mad about music when I was young and would collect tapes and make up dance routines every day without fail (these were the golden days before CDs became the mainstream, and don’t even MENTION mp3!).  My tape player also had a more longlasting effect: my enduring love for many bands, including Crowded House, Queen and the Eagles comes almost entirely from nicking my parents’ music when I was small and playing it relentlessly on my own machine until the songs were permanently engraved on my brain.  Luckily for me, my parents have stellar taste in music – I could be addicted to much worse!

My first ‘proper’ bike

Again, I’ve no idea how old I was when I was given my first ‘big girl’s’ bike, but I do remember that I absolutely loved it.  It was red and old-fashioned looking, with white tyres, a big squeaky horn on the front and a plastic box attached to the rear where I used to stow all the crap I would find when I was out and about (I’m talking twigs, leaves, stones, broken bits of plastic – I’ve always been into getting something for nothing).  I remember being so excited at the prospect of having my own two wheels and my love of cycling has stayed with me my whole life.  Said bike was eventually outgrown and replaced but the initial feelings of excitement and freedom that it bred in me have crystallised into happy memories.  The best gifts have a funny way of letting that happen, don’t they?

Teacup ring

I have to include my teacup ring (see above) in any list of my favourite presents.  This was given to me by my two best friends clubbed together, and I can honestly say that I’ve never received a piece of jewellery that’s more ‘me’ in my entire life.  I’m not really into traditional jewellery – I much prefer kooky little bits like this, or brash, bold costume pieces.  I’ve worn this ring hundreds of times, and will do hundreds more again.  I love it.  That’s all I can say.

Breadmaker

I only received my breadmaker at Christmas just passed (from Santa, who else?), but it has already slyly wormed its way up into my top five gifts.  It’s such a great little machine to have – whether it’s dough for delicious home-made pizzas, sponge for all manner of cakes, or just a good old-fashioned loaf for everyday munching, the breadmaker does the lot, and then some (apologies if I sound like a Morphy Richards sales drone, it just really is that good).  Mine even has an overnight function, and trust me when I say there’s nothing quite like waking up on a Saturday morning to the smell of a fresh loaf just waiting to be lathered in butter and jam.  Add some fresh, rich roast coffee and you literally have THE perfect breakfast.  Mmmmm, tastes like the weekend.

My tent a.k.a ‘The Love Shack‘

My tent was gifted to me by one of my best friends (who was also responsible for one half of the teacup ring – what can I say?  She’s an AWESOME gift-giver) for my 21st birthday.  It’s covered in bright pink hearts, hence the name, ‘The Love Shack’ (it was always going to be called that, right?).  My friend gave me a card along with the tent, in which she wrote ‘This year’s gift comes with a promise from yours truly that life will never be dull, or lack adventure’.  And she was right – I’ve used the tent loads of times: at T in the Park, on various camping trips around the country (including a night on the beach at St Andrews) and in my parents’ back garden for a sleepover with friends.  I once even put it up in my bedroom, filled it with cushions and invited my flatmate in for a cup of tea.  It’s one of my most prized possessions and I always look forward to new adventures with it.  Pleasing to both eye and spirit!

I’m having a bit of an ‘odds and ends’-type week here at Thrifty Chick.  I’m trying to get on with writing some fiction in the evenings at the moment and I’m also plodding my way through a 700-odd page biography, which also has tiny print.  This has left precious little time for blogging, so here’s a bulletin-style round-up of the last few days:

I’ve been cooking…

Last week, I took what I think is a rather big step on the road towards ethical eating by signing up to a fruit and vegetable box scheme.  This particular scheme is run by a local farm and my first load of green leafy bounty is due to arrive sometime tomorrow afternoon.  The box should contain around 11 types of vegetable and 5 of fruit.  It cost £18, which might sound like a lot of money, but I’m assured that I’ll have enough to last me for two weeks, which makes it quite cheap really.  I can more than easily spend more than £9 per week on fruit and veg in a supermarket, and the box scheme has the added advantage of containing completely organic produce, free from pesticides and chemicals and other nasties sprayed on supermarket crops to make them look appetising.  It’s also very low on packaging – something that really gets my goat as far as shop-bought healthies go.  Finally, buying the box means supporting a local, environmentally-aware business, which I love.  I’ll be sure to do a more substantive post once it actually arrives!

While we’re on food, after a slightly malnourished weekend (chinese for dinner on Friday, Greggs’ steak bake for breakfast on Saturday, you get the picture) I cooked a vegetable chilli for dinner on Monday night.  I made a basic chilli sauce (olive oil, onion, garlic, chillies, passata, kidney beans, various herbs and spices) and added some diced sweet potato, celery, cabbage, leek, red pepper and carrot in lieu of mince.  I served it with brown rice and lots of cold, plain yoghurt as it was quite fiery.  Plenty for two hearty and wholesome dinners as well as one chuck-in-micro lunch.  Not bad for minimal spending, and guaranteed to boost the immune system!

I’ve been making…

It’s my friend’s 24th birthday today, and after having invited her round for a cuppa last night, I realised that I hadn’t thought of a present for her, or even had the time to get/make her a card.  Instead of a last-minute dash around the shops, inevitably ending up with me paying through the nose for something rubbish, I got some margarine, eggs and sugar and made her a batch of smartie-topped fairy cakes.  I dug out a fancy gift box that I bought months ago for about 60p to put them in and tied the whole thing up in a red ribbon.  I also fashioned a bizarre-if-not-unique birthday card, using sellotape, scissors and a pile of old Sunday Times Style magazines (look for pretty/amusing/interesting pictures or words, cut out and stick down, mosaic-style).  I was pretty impressed with the end result and my friend was delighted.  I guess it demonstrates just how far your imagination can take you when money is tight and the creative mood is right!

I’ve been wearing…

Alongside purchasing an adorable summery dress from Shelter for £8 (I’m going to wear it to a wedding I’m going to in three weeks) I splashed a little cash on a pair of sandals on Sunday, which might not initially sound like a very thrifty thing to do, but let me explain!  I’ve got a terrible habit of wearing my shoes down until they no longer have soles, which is both bad for my feet and my appearance!  While I don’t actually mind looking scruffy (I term it ‘interesting’), there comes a point when even I have to deem enough ‘enough’.  That point came a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been looking out for a pair of sandals that will both work with most of my wardrobe and allow me to get rid of a few old threadbare pairs ever since.  I finally struck gold in Clarks on Sunday, with a gorgeous pair of tan gladiator-style sandals (check ‘em out here) that are guaranteed to go perfectly with the vast majority of my clothes.  They cost £39.99, but they do have a decent rubber sole on them and, as far as I know, Clarks aren’t really known for making crap shoes, so I’m hoping they will last for the duration.  I’m much more keen to refer to them as a considered investment rather than an impulse-driven splurge, and, in light of their purchase, I took two old pairs to the recycling bank on Monday.  Job done!

Image above from Flickr – Martin LaBar.

While reading yesterday’s Sunday Times Style magazine this morning (which I can do because, y’know, I’m on holiday and all that) I noticed a reader letter about wedding lists – the subject of last Friday’s post here on TC. Here it is in full:

“I am attending a wedding in the summer, and the bride and groom, while saying “Your presence is enough”, have given details of an upmarket online travel company, so that contributions may be made towards the cost of their honeymoon. I have, over the years, spent a small fortune on John Lewis gift-list purchases of china and crystal, however, I find it rather distasteful to be asked to contribute cash towards a honeymoon, especially when they do not even have the decency to say what we would be contributing towards. I have no idea whether they are planning on spending their honeymoon building an orphanage in Rwanda, or gorging themselves on pina coladas on the Costa del Sol. If I do not wish to give cash towards the holiday, do you think it would be acceptable to give a honeymoon gift, such as a good book to read on the beach or earplugs?”**

This letter appears on the ‘Mrs Mills’ page of the magazine which, as any regular readers will know, is pretty tongue-in-cheek at the best of times (in fact, it’s usually downright hilarious). But the underlying theme of the question is an interesting one. Is it acceptable to mandate that your guests contribute towards the cost of your honeymoon in lieu of a material wedding gift?

My initial guess is that if you decide that dictating to your wedding guests is an acceptable thing to do in the first place then asking for cash contributions to your honeymoon is actually quite a smart idea – particularly if the couple concerned already lives together and has no need for traditional wedding presents a la John Lewis’ over-priced, aspirational consumer chattels. Perhaps having guest contributions means that a couple can afford to go on the honeymoon of their dreams or, in some cases, that they can go on a honeymoon at all. Which isn’t really something I’m inclined to sniff at, truth be told.

On the other hand, if you are stubbornly opposed to the idea of the wedding list in the first place (as a not-insubstantial part of me is) then the chances are you’re probably equally, if not more, appalled by the prospect of being asked to stuff a few tenners in a card to bankroll someone else’s jaunt abroad, even if that someone else is your best friend, sibling, boss etc. I can relate to this – call me a prude all you will but there’s something about the thought of being asked for nothing other than money that sits rather uneasily with me. I’ve never been into either the giving or the receiving money as presents at all – I usually think it’s a bit of a cop out of the time and effort it takes to give someone the perfect gift – ‘I saw this wad of notes and thought of you dear.’ Charmed, I’m sure.

So again, I’m not sure which camp I fall into here. While I’m firmly in favour of the idea of giving experience-based gifts as opposed to material ones, there’s something telling me that slipping some cash into an envelope with the words ‘Bon Voyage’ written on the back is most emphatically not the solution to the wedding list problem, even if you are told exactly where the money is going and what it will be used for. Perhaps by the time I come to get married myself I will have formed a more concrete opinion on the subject of wedding lists. Or perhaps I will adopt what is undeniably the best idea I’ve heard so far. Apparently some friends of Holly @ Shopaholly asked their guests to give a single copy of their favourite book as a wedding present so that they could get their collection going. I have to say, this is probably one of the most charming things I’ve heard in a while – it really does warm my heart to know that, contrary to everything I’ve read and heard about £400 toasters, matching side plates and five types of bath towel, there are still people out there who are actively willing to do things differently when it comes to planning their nuptials. Good on them.

That, I think, brings wedding week to a close. I’ve not covered absolutely everything – I’d probably have ended up smothering myself with the nearest pile of organza if I’d gone on much longer – but I at least hope I’ve done enough to make it clear that getting married doesn’t have to mean that thrift suddenly takes a back-seat to financial promiscuity. In fact, it is now becoming my solid belief that the thriftiest weddings can be the most beautiful, the most original and by far the most memorable. In my book at least, over-the-top hen parties, mono-style designer dresses and John Lewis wedding lists are each over-rated, unimaginative and above all, expensive. Undertake any or all at your financial, creative and spiritual peril!

**For anyone who’s interested, Mrs Mills’ reply took the following, ever-so-slightly sardonic form:

“This is a deplorable trend, almost as bad as those people who expect you to sponsor them for a charity bike ride across Barbados in aid of the Help the Orphaned Donkey Fund. Do not give in. Buy them a toaster and eat the receipt.”

Image above courtesy of Flickr – vipeldo.

My friends who got married in November had never lived together before their nuptials.  In fact, the Groom lived at home with his parents (and, so I’m told, had his packed lunch made every morning before work by his Dad)!  Their wedding day therefore signified not only the start of their married life, but also the beginning of their living together.  In order to furnish their newly purchased marital love nest and to get them off to a good start in terms of having enough pots and pans, tea towels and bed linen to survive the first few months of their cohabiting life, the couple in question registered a John Lewis wedding gift list.  I was round there for dinner on Wednesday evening and blimmin’ eck, didn’t they do well out of it!  The house is a shrine to John Lewis’s finest and it’s lovely, albeit not really to my taste (it’s all just a bit too new if you get my meaning).  Truth be told, I’m slightly terrified of breaking something or spilling tea on their new cream carpets.

So wedding lists.  Good thing?  Bad thing?  Devil’s spawn?  There’s no denying that this is a subject that really divides people, from my experience into two camps: 1) ‘wedding lists are sensible and practical, all hail the wedding list’ and 2) ‘wedding lists are greedy and presumptuous, get it out of my sight before I register them for a piece of my mind’.

Personally, I can’t fully align myself with either school of thought.  I guess I can see both sides of the argument really.  On the one hand, people will always give wedding presents.  It’s part of that beautiful thing we call social convention I guess.  And so with that comes the idea that rather than leave people to their own devices and end up with thirty sets of hand towels and no dinner plates, perhaps it’s a good idea to let guests know what things you would like or need and allow them to work it out from there.  There’s a (substantial) part of me that thinks this is perhaps a good way to do things, especially if you’re trying to be thrifty.

The other good thing about a wedding list is that it makes choosing a gift very easy for those people who, again because of either social convention or family politics (yawn), will attend your wedding despite not really knowing you all that well.  In a sense it’s fair to give these people, who probably have no incling as to what your personal tastes are, a bit of a nudge in the right direction so that everyone comes out happy and no one has to spend hours searching for the perfect gift – we’d all rather be kicking back in easy chairs with cups of tea and good books after all, right?

Having said this, the spontaneous, romantic side of me that couldn’t care less about practicalities and also shuns thrift every now and then (shame on me) *absolutely detests* the wedding list.  I think it’s presumptuous, pushy and, dare I say it, a tad unethical.  It strikes me in many ways as just plain wrong to be prescriptive about gifts – surely there’s an element of surprise inherent in the idea that simply goes out the window when the gifter is offered a list of desired objects from which to choose, the giftee knows exactly how much everything costs and where it was sourced and the whole thing is laid out in the invitation as though it were some kind of contract of sale.  It upsets me that weddings can be so businesslike – where does the romance, the suprise and the outright joy go, huh?

I guess the answer is, I don’t know where I stand on wedding lists.  In some ways I like, or at least can understand them, while in others I can think of few things worse than robbing my wedding guests of their choice as to what they buy (or make, PLEASE MAKE!) me.  Perhaps the solution is to create a list but to encourage people to deviate from it if they have a better idea in mind.  That works, to an extent, although it means being prepared to first make a list and second actually tell people about it.

Hmm, maybe it’s best to just ban gifts and encourage people to bring food and drink instead.

Image above from Flickr – Phil Gyford.

Is the glass half-empty or half-full?  The answer, I think, depends on the way you look at it.  A philosophy that applies to all areas of life including, so it would seem, personal finance.  Let me illustrate.

I feel like I’ve spent more money than I should have this weekend, especially since my intentions were to do very little other than read, write and relax (this seems to happen to me quite regularly – some weekends I fully expect my purse to take a beating and I end up escaping relatively lightly while others I begin with the most thrifty of intentions but end feeling annoyed with myself).  I’ve been thinking quite seriously about everything I spend lately, and have come to the conclusion that perhaps the answer to the question of whether I’ve really been excessive over the last few days depends on how I look at it.  I’ve therefore made a note of all the money I’ve spent, and the reasons I’ve had for spending it.  Turns out that such an exercise is a good basis for a blog post, well in theory that is…

So anyway.  I started off well by making dinner on Friday night from a variety of left-overs and cupboard stocks.  I made a gorgeous carbonara from four rashers of bacon, the remainder of a tub of crème fraiche and some tagliatelle that I found lurking in the cupboard.  In fact, I had every ingredient I needed apart from an onion and some mushrooms.  So that was good.  I did, however, splash out a little on a bag of Waitrose cookies but in my humble opinion it’s a strong strong person who can say no to walnut, raisin and chocolate chip.  ‘Nuff said really.

Yesterday began positively as well – the friend I was meeting for a morning coffee was half an hour late and insisted on paying to make up for it.  Generous acquaintances can be very useful when it comes to living the thrifty life it seems!

With a post-latte flush in my cheeks I wandered into town with the vague aim of buying a birthday present for my sister (whose birthday was actually last Monday, shame on me).  Princes Street was, however, far from fun (it was pouring with rain and the shops were choked with angry bargain-hunting maniacs busy picking things up and dropping them on the floor in a childish ‘it’s not cheap enough‘ rage which only ever makes me feel depressed).  I couldn’t even bear the thought of a visit to Waterstones which is normally a dead cert as far as calming myself down goes.

I decided pretty early on that I really wasn’t in the mood, and decided to vacate to a quiet cafe away from the bustling, harassed centre of town where I could read the paper, drink tea and stay dry.  I spent £5 on a huge bacon roll and a pot of the good stuff.  I didn’t, however, grudge the money in the slightest – the effect that an hour of calm, a cup of tea and a read of the paper has on my spirits is truly phenomenal – yesterday it was the much-needed solace that left me ready for the trudge home in the rain.

On my way back to Morningside I stopped by my favourite vintage shop, The Rusty Zip.  And there, hanging on a rail and snuggled cheekily amidst a variety of garish taffeta numbers was the dress of all dresses.  White with black polka dots, floaty sleeves and a full skirt (photo to follow) and an absolute steal at £18.  Needless to say I snapped it up, not least because I’m going to a Christening in three weeks time and hadn’t had the faintest notion of what I might wear prior to finding this.  It wasn’t in the greatest of conditions, having by all accounts a quite pathetic ribbon sewn around the waist which I wasn’t particularly taken with and a small stain on the back.  I figured that such trivialities are quite easily overcome and once I’ve cleaned, customised and styled it up with some shoes and accessories I’m confident it will be both stunning and ready for church.

Spurred on by this fantastic find I fashioned a Saturday-night dinner completely from left-overs thus spending no money on food.  I had drinks with another friend later on in the evening and spent roughly £8 on wine, which wasn’t, on reflection, too much considering that we went to Montpelier in Bruntsfield – not somewhere renowned for its cheap alcohol!

This morning I awoke to find no food in the fridge apart from half a packet of feta cheese and some potatoes.  Now I might be thrifty, but I ain’t going to be eating feta-laced mash for my breakfast anytime soon.  A trip to the supermarket was therefore made.  And, somewhat inevitably, I found myself having to stock up on more than just food supplies – I desperately needed washing powder and I also wanted to buy stain remover to use on the new dress and my white dressing gown which has, somehow without my realising it, begun working a rather dingy, River City-esque look.  Turns out that stain remover don’t come cheap (I’m sure that after posting this someone will inform me of some ultra-thrifty ‘cupboard-based’ remedy for removing nasty stains like vinegar, white wine and basil or some equally bizarre combination) and I had to fork out £3 for a pot of Vanish.  I guess it’s an investment more than anything else – in fact I’m rather geekily excited about witnessing my whites returning to their former glory, and I also have a quite substantial urge to go out and get my clothes really mucky, just to see how well it copes.

Along with stain remover I bought tan shoe polish and brushes.  My very favourite boots which I’ve worn pretty much every day since I bought them two months ago (it feels like much longer than that – I almost can’t remember what the life of my feet was like before I found these) are in serious need of a good shining.  I’ve never really been in the way of polishing my shoes before, probably because I’ve traditionally bought such cheap and nasty shoes that they’ve fallen apart before they’ve even had a chance to get dirty enough to warrant my shining them!  So there we go, a new experience awaits me this evening.

After a morning of household jobs, preparation for the tutorials I’m leading this coming week and a lunch of lorne sausage on rolls, I left to go to the coffee shop to read the paper and relax a bit (my favourite Sunday afternoon activity).  Walking past Oxfam I had the sudden urge to have a look and was both surprised and delighted to find some lovely Fairtrade jewellery for my sister as well as the most beautiful card.  I also found a keyring in the shape of a heart that has apparently been made from an old flip flop.  The idea of this delighted me so much that I bought it there and then.  What’s £1.50 on a bit of ethical joy now and then?  In addition to these nik naks I found a book that I’ve been after for months.  It was £3 so I bought that too (noticing a theme here?!).  The copy is in pristine condition and it retails for £12.99 so I didn’t consider this too outrageous a splurge.  I was, however, starting to feel a little guilty by this point so I decided on the coffee front to redeem my Costa loyalty points and enjoyed a delicious latte for free, thus alleviating myself of the need to spend a further £2.30.

There.  That’s all of it.  Promise.  To come back to the question I raised at the beginning therefore, I’ve decided to look at the weekend’s outgoings with my ‘glass half full’ goggles on.  Why?  Well everything (or almost everything) I bought has or had a purpose which I consider to be a worthy one. I now have a Christening dress, a stainless dressing gown and a present for my sister which I will require to send before she gets to thinking that I don’t know when her birthday is.  I’ve ticked several things off of my ‘to-do’ list, and I generally feel quite relaxed.  What I don’t have is that horrible, stomach-clenching feeling I get when I really have gone over the top and I know it.  So all in all, I don’t think I’ll be too hard on myself.

Having said that, next weekend I will try to begin and end on a shoestring.  Splurging is fun every now and then, but make it a habit and problems are just around the corner.

Image courtesy of Flickr: Sebastien Barillot.