Um, hello! I’m not quite sure where that fortnight-long silence came from.
I guess I haven’t felt much like blogging lately for a number of reasons. I started a new job last week, or a new ‘section’ of the same job, which essentially means a new office, new colleagues and a new (substantially earlier) getting up time. I spent the first five days powering through, sleeping not that much but drinking many, many cups of coffee and trying my hardest to ignore how tired the whole thing was making me. I also didn’t run or cycle for days and the lethargy I felt as a result was like having weights sewn into my clothing, pushing me down into the ground. It was only on Friday night, when I was so tired that I *actually* fell asleep fully clothed and without even managing to turn the light off, that I realised perhaps it was time to take things a little bit easier.
I’ve also been pining a bit for Summer. Usually, I’m all over September when it arrives (see here and here). I practically live for the change in the seasons at this time of year: the drop in temperature, the soup and stew making, the big fluffy jumpers, the drawing of curtains and the cosy nights. This year, however, September’s arrival heralded a weird kind of sadness in me. A sadness at the realisation that the best, most exciting, perspective-changing Summer I’ve ever had is over, and that all those fun things that happened, the experiences I had alone or shared with others, the conversations, the laughter and all that silliness are now memories of a time gone by rather than part of the fabric of the present.
And then there’s my poor Summer Bucket List. I didn’t even know what to do about that. While I have accomplished 14 (I think) of the 25 things I put on there, once August was over I started to feel weirdly guilty when I thought of it. And the guilt eventually turned to neglect. It was just a short hop from there to utter resentment, really.
But! It’s not like me to think this way. And Autumn itself is something to be celebrated. The present moment is always something to be celebrated – you only get a finite number of them, and the extent to which you commit to enjoying each one should have absolutely nothing to do with what season it is. Right? Right! So. I have resolved to thank the Summer it for all it taught and brought me. I have also resolved to kiss it goodbye and refocus my time, energy and thoughts on now. Autumn.
And actually, when I took the time to really think about it, I realised that this particular Autumn is shaping up to be kind of good. There’s the new job for one, where I can learn things and improve myself and (hopefully) get lots better at stuff I’m traditionally pretty bad at (read: phone calls and being super-organised).
Then there’s self-betterment through exercise. I’ve got some more Munro-bagging planned for September, I’m running the Edinburgh 10K in October and I’m also taking part in the 5k x 50 challenge which started on Sunday. You can read about that here if you’re interested but essentially all you do is 5K of something every day, for 50 days. Walking, cycling, running and swimming all count. My flatmate and I decided that the best way to commit ourselves to this fully was to make an enormous progress chart which we have now stuck up in our kitchen. There are also people doing it at work so really, I don’t have any place to hide.
And then there’s all the other stuff that makes up a life that to me is worth living. Like books, and day trips, and conversations with the wonderful people I’m so lucky to be surrounded by. And the cinema, and crocheting, and baking, and late afternoon Autumnal sun. As for the Bucket List, I’ve decided that instead of persevering with Summery activities when Summer itself has bid us firmly adieu, I’m going to look at what’s left on the current list, retain what’s still achievable despite the change in the weather (so it’s probably goodbye to strawberry picking and outdoor kayaking) and then add a whole bunch of new stuff for Autumn. My Autumn Bucket List! You like? I like! Languishing, unfinished project instantaneously revamped into new and shiny and oooh-I-can’t-wait-to-get-started thing to get excited about. Coming to a blog post near you soon!
What do the changing seasons signify for you?
Image above from here.